《班扎古鲁白玛的沉默》

你见,或者不见我,我就在那里,不悲不喜;
你念,或者不念我,情就在那里,不来不去;
你爱,或者不爱我,爱就在那里,不增不减;
你跟,或者不跟我,我的手就在你手里,不舍不弃;
来我的怀里,或者, 让我住进你的心里;
默然 相爱  寂静  欢喜。

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fighting

1
梁姐说,上研的招待所我一天都待不下去,你太强了。
这个招待所我也觉得很糟糕,但是却从没感觉无法忍受。
电视机只有寥寥可数的几个台,但是我可以看新闻有中央一、凤凰卫视,看电影有星空卫视,看连续剧有华娱卫视,听歌[V]。
洗衣机不能甩干,就每次晾在篮球场旁边,感觉回到大学时代。
空调制暖效果不好,我盖两床被子,觉得踏实。
网速被限制,只能看网页,只是觉得不能看康熙来了。
现在的我好积极,每件事都可以先看到好的那一面。

2
阿亮昨晚打电话来,下周六要结婚了。
时间好快。
某一天发呆的时候,觉得最快乐的时光其实是和阿亮、柠檬、楚凡的那段日子了。
我说,我要做伴娘,让楚凡当伴郎。
阿亮说,那不行,我要当伴郎。
我就笑,你不是还要和柠檬将就呢嘛。
因为小时候单纯的感情,所以延续了彼此十几年的感情。

3
喝醉时最想念的那个人是谁?
在韩国时,因为喝多了清酒,我无法入睡。
我最想念的是谁。是自己小半辈子中最单纯的感情,最不计较的付出,以及知道真莫道不消魂相时的遗憾。
我会因为面对不熟得人而少言,我会懒得在酒桌上敷衍任何人,我时常会觉得自己朋友太少。
但是小半辈子中有许多值得回忆的感情也足够了。

4
我很想念你。
想点一支烟。却因为你早已忘记拿烟的姿势。

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祝我生日快乐!

1
虽然今天不是我生日,生日明天才到,但是我估计明天我一定很累,提前好了。
很久不写什么博客了,想说的话想做的事,该实现的我都在实现,没实现的我也努力着。
多积极哦。
不知道是被折磨的,还是真的老了,现在的我脾气蛮好、很想得开。
总之人生不就是这样子,有时候好事多,有时候坏事多,有时候坏事一起来,有时候好事不长久。
但是,什么事都会过去的。

2
这半年好忙。
工作时忙忙碌碌。为了P大一点工资,把自己累得。
看房子匆匆忙忙。
刚才我甚至不知道我到底是要过27岁生日还是28岁。
我总觉得我都28了,猛然发现还有一年,小惊喜。
窃喜还有时间还有时间。

3
在韩国时,我认识了一位灯具工程师,50多岁了但是看上去只有三四十。
很smart,英文不错,理解能力很好,容易沟通。
所以在我眼中很handsome。
离走前有一次聚餐,我喝high了,我想他索取了一个hug。
那晚回酒店,还有一位欧洲人调戏了我,吓得我夜不能寐。
其实我很胆小。
在韩国,我还认识了一位韩国女孩,总布置工程师,same age as me。
我们会聊天聊两个小时,浑然不觉。
我安慰她只要耐心就会碰到MR.right。
我们说着一个人的生活,我在回忆,她在当下,我们的眼圈就红了。
她是在难过,那我呢?
仍旧是委屈的吗?

4
工作很辛苦,总有很多事情做不完。问题总是很多。
在韩国的饭桌上,领佳节又重阳导批评了我的某部分业务,我很委屈,加上喝了酒,我就掉了20秒的眼泪。
然后我告诉他们,I'm so happy。

5
毕业那年开始,每年生日我都会为自己增加一瓶香水。到今年有五瓶了。

6
其实什么都不重要。
生日快乐和快乐最重要。
而我的快乐都来自亲爱的们、和工作、和生活、以及那些不快乐们。
今年生日,我送自己:活在当下,别忘了感受每一刻!

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日子

上班的日子里总是盼着有一天可以再也不用朝九晚五 不用看人眼色
可是一个人在家的时候又觉得没事做 重复的做相同的无聊的事
但还好可以阅读

昨天川贝在看李开复的《做最好的自己》
我在看东野圭吾的《恶意》
他说:你别看什么小说了 应该多看看这些 对你自己有帮助。
某天我和川贝对某事大加讨论 过后我感慨说:其实我不应该看不起那些关系 只关注个人素质 到最后或许我们都是靠人脉打天下。
川贝说:是啊 所以你要改。
我自己想了想 却有些无奈。

今天没上班 上午去看了婚纱照的设计效果
意外的可以拿到电子版的照片了
挺开心的 意外之喜

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笑话几则

1
我的口头禅开始变为,好像全世界就你上班哦。
川贝每天除了上班就是吃饭、睡觉,还有别的事的话,就是加班了。
我最近威胁他的话一般都是,等我去韩国了,你就后悔没好好陪我吧。

2
我刚才看到内心潮湿四个字。
内心潮湿是什么感觉,我无法体会。

3
在博客占坑的后果是忘了当时想要说什么
我说几个笑话好了

3.1
某日  我和川贝在看电视
许久,他问,20×60能放进车里吗?
我就乐了。看了那么久的电视,原来他在想婚纱照的放大像他怎么拿回家呢。

3.2
某日,吃过晚饭,川贝说,等把照片拿回来了,就挂在这面墙上。
我说,不行,留着挂在新家的。我到时候不在家,你把东西收好,盒子别弄烂弄潮了。
那我能打开看不。
我说,再说吧。

3.3
某日早晨。
川贝睁开眼睛第一句话,怎么没见咱家的小乌龟。
我心里想,你起床爱赖床,白天爱上班,晚上爱加班,你还记得小乌龟啊。
不过话说回来,我也好几天都没管小乌龟了。
赖床完了,川贝起床第一件事就是找乌龟,然后大叫,水都干了,然后就屁颠屁颠的换水去了。

3.4
某日
美妞:好看不?
川贝:好看
次某日 
美妞:好看不?
川贝:好看
再某日 
美妞:好看不?
川贝:好看
周而复始到看婚纱照照片前。

3.5
某日睡觉前
川贝说,分床睡吧,睡不好。
我说,好,巴不得呢。
我睡好后说,你赶紧去小屋睡啊。
那我走啦。
关门声。
我喊,关灯,你给我把灯关了。
没动静。
我又喊,宋川川!
你喊我啊,那我睡大床吧。
我心里偷笑了好久,其实我知道他是在屋里关了门,等着呢。

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东野圭吾

1
因为最近迷上东野圭吾 所以又在当当网上买了五本他的书
之前看过他的《白夜行》《嫌疑人X的献身》《时生》

昨天看的是他的《幻夜》 看到后面才发现其实幻夜是白夜行的续集
不过看白夜行的时候 我是一口气看完 看完后意犹未尽 又看了两遍
看嫌疑人X的献身 虽然开始就知道了真莫道不消魂相 但是后面的结局仍然让我唏嘘了好久 又看了一遍
幻夜我只是断断续续的两天看完了 不同于那两本的故事发展 像是从头道来一个故事的前后内容细节和对话
留下的想象远没有白夜行多

或许是因为太喜欢白夜行了吧
雪穗在白夜行里即使残忍 却还有让人值得原谅的时候 还有些许的温情在
但是在幻夜里的她 已经失去了唯一的叫做佳节又重阳爱情的温情后 剩下的只有残忍

我在百度上面看别人的评价
很多人都说东野圭吾最好看的两本书是白夜行和嫌疑人X的献身
碰巧我看的头两本就是这两个 不知道其余的那些本会不会失望呢

白夜行很久之前就拍过日本连续剧
最近要重拍 韩国也拍了电影 有时间找来看看

2
徐静蕾的《杜拉拉升职记》 如果不是因为原著和营销 票房不可能那么好
我认为改编的很难看 电影内容很没有意义
最近看了杜拉拉的第三本  书也变成连续剧了 第三本还是没有结局呢

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逐渐成为一个言不由衷口不对心的人

我总说无论人、物、环境如何的旋转变化 我不能够忘记自己对生活的责任和思考
但是其实我忘记了

我整理电脑 又看了以前的照片
有多久了 究竟是从哪一年开始 我出门甚至出去玩从来都带相机
是一种拒绝 一种逃避
我总觉那是无谓的 感受到什么都在我的触觉视觉以及回忆里
也总不愿照相了 是自卑吗

电脑里的照片是从06年开始的 因为丢过笔记本电脑 所以有些照片不全
我在那些照片里面看见我的回忆
有快乐的时候 也有不快乐的时候
很多时候或许都是孤单的 因为频繁的出现在宿舍镜子前的自拍照
照片里有不穿的衣服还在穿的衣服 不穿的鞋和还在穿的鞋 不背的包还在背的包
人物却很少 大部分的时候只有我

女人美好的真的就只有那么几年 自从工作后总觉得自己苍老的很快
很快 快到乌黑亮丽的黑发变成干枯发黄的头发
快到抵挡不住小细纹的突突冒 干到脱皮的脸
和回到家脱了鞋就不愿动的身体 一到经期前就发酸的腰 以及站半小时举胳膊一会就发酸的四肢
还有电脑里一两年都不再更新的歌 以及落满灰尘的IPOD和PSP
最重要的还是那颗苍老的心吧
宁愿睡觉不愿瑜伽 宁愿吃火锅不愿减肥 宁愿自己动手不愿去理发店
what's wrong?

我隔三差五的就会动退休的念头
我受够了那些个与人打交道的工作 只想就自己坐在电脑前安静的干活
可是不可能有这样的工作 白日梦做得太多了 巴不得天上马上给我掉几块金砖
我就这了那了 唉
算了 收拾收拾睡会觉 这个难得的双休周末

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樱桃沟一日游

樱桃沟在郑州市的西郊
这段时间刚好是樱桃的美好时光 

早晨8点一刻醒来 就开始闹闹川贝 骗他9点了 把他弄醒 琢磨着出去喝个粤式早茶
闹一闹 玩一玩 川贝再看表,现在才九点?你那会骗我说九点?
那会是八点四十五,快九点。我面不改色心不跳。
那不可能才十五分钟啊?
你以为呢,你也就五分钟啊。赶紧洗澡出去吃饭吧。

九点二十才看到汪娜嫂子的短信,去不去樱桃沟。
我立马电话回过去,去呢,什么时候啊。
九点四十格林门口集合。
穿衣服,收拾东西,催川贝洗澡快点,九点四十出门。

路上差不多一个小时就到了。一共五家人。
逛了逛乡下,玩了玩别人家的宝宝,吃了农家乐。
然后就是摘樱桃了。川贝摘。我到处晃悠光吃,我才不指望拿回家的樱桃我放不坏。我只要求吃饱。
摘了一个小时后,差不多园子里也没啥了,大家都收拾回家了。

总结:
这是非常有意义的一天,因为没有虚度。
农家乐的鸡和鸡蛋很好吃,运动量大对鸡的身体有益。它们一碰的确可以三尺高。
樱桃我吃了不少半熟的,导致口干舌燥上火了。
最后是,宝宝真的很好玩。

 

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为了不能总是写月记
我占个坑
熬夜了 想抽烟了
川贝带着些许的白酒的甜味呼呼大睡 不知道他有没有梦到我

我偶尔会感叹 年纪大了 再也没有懒觉了
上班族的生活稳定了我的生物钟
但是却避免不了做梦

几乎夜夜有梦
我前几天梦到过孩子 我前一两天梦到过春梦 还有什么 我忘记了
总之我容易梦到孩子和春梦
这表示什么

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整个世界森林里的老虎全都溶化成黄油

1


英国童话作家Helen Bannerman的绘本


The Story of Little Black Sambo


小黑森巴穿上妈妈送的红外套、蓝裤子,拿著爸爸给的绿伞出门探险。


有四只黄色老虎要吃小黑森巴,可是小黑森巴把身上的红外套、蓝裤子、蓝鞋、红伞送给那四只老虎,求他们「不要吃他」。


后来,四只老虎碰见了,展开一场森林争霸战,彼此互不相让,在一棵椰子树下转圈追逐互咬,结果越跑越快,黄色的身体逐渐溶化成黄色的奶油。


小黑森巴躲在树后目睹一切经过,森巴爸爸刚好经过,就用手上提的水桶,装满老虎奶油得意洋洋地回家,让妈妈用老虎奶油煎了香喷喷、呈现老虎条纹的煎饼,小黑森巴一口气就吃掉169片。


 


2


《挪威的森林里》


绿子问渡边,“喜欢我喜欢到什么程度?”


渡边回答,“整个世界森林里的老虎全都化成黄油。”


 


3


童话故事的英文原文


The Story of Little Black Sambo.


                          by msandra (Sandra)


 


Once upon a time there was a little black boy, and his namewas Little Black Sambo.And his mother was called Black Mumbo.And his father was called Black Jumbo.And Black Mumbo made him a beautiful little Red Coat, and a pair of beautiful little blue trousers.


 


And Black Jumbo went to the Bazaar, and bought him a beautiful Green Umbrella, and a lovely little Pair of Purple Shoes with Crimson Soles and Crimson Linings.And then wasn't Little Black Sambo grand?


 


So he put on all his Fine Clothes, and went out for a walk in the Jungle. And by and by he met a Tiger. And the Tiger said to him, "Little Black Sambo, I'm going to eat you up!"


And Little Black Sambo said, "Oh! Please Mr. Tiger, don't eat me up, and I'll give you my beautiful little Red Coat."


So the Tiger said, "Very well, I won't eat you this time, but you must give me your beautiful little Red Coat."


So the Tiger got poor Little Black Sambo's beautiful little Red Coat, and went away saying, "Now I'm the grandest Tiger in the Jungle."


 


And Little Black Sambo went on, and by and by he met another Tiger, and it said to him, "Little Black Sambo, I'm going to eat you up!"


And Little Black Sambo said, "Oh! Please Mr.Tiger, don't eat me up, and I'll give you my beautiful little Blue Trousers."


So the Tiger said, "Very well, I won't eat you this time, but you must give me your beautiful little Blue Trousers." So the Tiger got poor Little Black Sambo's beautiful little Blue Trousers, and went away saying, "Now I'm the grandest Tiger in the Jungle."


 


And Little Black Sambo went on, and by and by he met another Tiger, and it said to him, "Little Black Sambo, I'm going to eat you up!"


And Little Black Sambo said, "Oh! Please Mr.Tiger, don't eat me up, and I'll give you my beautiful little Purple Shoes with Crimson Soles and Crimson Linings."


But the Tiger said, "What use would your shoes be to me? I've got four feet, and you've got only two; you haven't got enough shoes for me."


But Little Black Sambo said, "You could wear them on your ears."


"So I could," said the Tiger: "that's a very good idea. Give them to me, and I won't eat you this time."So the Tiger got poor Little Black Sambo's beautiful little Purple Shoes with Crimson Soles and Crimson Linings, and went away saying, "Now I'm the grandest Tiger in the Jungle."


 


And by and by Little Black Sambo met another Tiger, and it said to him, "Little Black Sambo, I'm going to eat you up!"


And Little Black Sambo said, "Oh! Please Mr. Tiger, don't eat me up, and I'll give you my beautiful Green Umbrella." But the Tiger said, "How can I carry an umbrella, when I need all


my paws for walking with?"


 


"You could tie a knot on your tail and carry it that way," said Little Black Sambo.


"So I could," said the Tiger."Give it to me, and I won't eat you this time."


So he got poor Little Black Sambo's beautiful Green Umbrella, and went away saying, "Now I'm the grandest Tiger in the Jungle."


 


And poor Little Black Sambo went away crying, because the cruel Tigers had taken all his fine clothes.


 


Presently he heard a horrible noise that sounded like "Gr-r-r-r-rrrrrr," and it got louder and louder. "Oh! dear!" said Little Black Sambo, "there are all the Tigers coming back to eat me up! What shall I do?" So he ran quickly to a palm-tree, and peeped round it to see what the matter was.


 


And there he saw all the Tigers fighting, and disputing which of them was the grandest. And at last they all got so angry that they jumped up and took off all the fine clothes, and began to tear each other with their claws, and bite each other with their great big white teeth.


 


And they came, rolling and tumbling right to the foot of the very tree where Little Black Sambo was hiding, but he jumped quickly in behind the umbrella. And the Tigers all caught hold of each other's tails, as they wrangled and scrambled, and so they found themselves in a ring round the tree.


 


Then, when the Tigers were very wee and very far away, Little Black Sambo jumped up, and called out, "Oh! Tigers! why have you taken off all your nice clothes? Don't you want them any


more?" But the Tigers only answered, "Gr-r-rrrr!"


 


Then Little Black Sambo said, "If you want them, say so, or I'll take them away." But the Tigers would not let go of each other's tails, and so they could only say "Gr-r-r-rrrrrr!"


 


So Little Black Sambo put on all his fine clothes again and walked off.


 


And the Tigers were very, very angry, but still they would not let go of each other's tails. And they were so angry, that they ran round the tree, trying to eat each other up, and they ran faster and faster, till they were whirling round so fast that you couldn't see their legs at all.


 


And they still ran faster and faster and faster, till they all just melted away, and there was nothing left but a great big pool of melted butter (or "ghi," as it is called in India) round the foot of the tree.


 


Now Black Jumbo was just coming home from his work, with a great big brass pot in his arms, and when he saw what was left of all the Tigers he said, "Oh! what lovely melted butter! I'll take that home to Black Mumbo for her to cook with."


 


So he put it all into the great big brass pot, and took it home to Black Mumbo to cook with..


When Black Mumbo saw the melted butter, wasn't she pleased!


"Now," said she, "we'll all have pancakes for supper!"


 


So she got flour and eggs and milk and sugar and butter, and she made a huge big plate of most lovely pancakes. And she fried them in the melted butter which the Tigers had made, and they were just as yellow and brown as little Tigers.


 


And then they all sat down to supper. And Black Mumbo ate Twenty-seven pancakes, and Black Jumbo ate Fifty-five but Little Black Sambo ate a Hundred and Sixty-nine, because he was so hungry.


 


 

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